Rest in Uncertainty

    I am still waiting for word on my visa. I was never informed as to why it was not  approved, but the advice I was given was to resubmit the same paperwork but to a different consulate. So that is the course of action I took about a week and a half ago. I am waiting and praying for a positive response this time. 

    During this time the Lord has allowed me to stay busy. I’ve spent some time with my parents church (my sending church). I’ve been able to teach Sunday School, sing in church and help with a conference they had several weeks ago.  I’ve also been busy traveling to some of my supporting churches in NH and SC.
It has been such a blessing to see friends again and let them know what God has been doing. It’s been such an encouragement to see people who I haven’t seen in so long and hear how they have kept up with my ministry and how they are praying so specifically for me. It is such a blessing! I have been convicted to reorganize my prayer life and work on that specifically this year.

How amazing that in the face of an uncertain future we can rest in knowing that our Heavenly Father remains in control of what we are not. 

I am not going to act as though these last few weeks have not been overwhelmingly trying or discouraging at times, but I have come to appreciate these verses so much more and rest in their truths. God knows exactly what is going on, He remains in control of my present and my future, these are just some of the verses that have helped me remember that.  

For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the Lord. - IS.55:8

We read this verse and hear it quoted, but how much harder is it to experience it and live it out. 

As I have waited (somewhat impatiently) for my visa, I have come to realize that, in many instances, I have committed myself to my plan more than I have committed myself to Gods way. His will shall be accomplished, the biggest question is if I will be ok with it.

I  have heard it said that sometimes we can get so busy in the Lords work that we forget the Lord OF the work. I wonder sometimes if our plans ‘falling apart’ is Gods way of asking us to pause and remember Him.

When we remain committed to God in the way that He wants us to be, it wont bother us when OUR plans change. We can rest in knowing that, well, God must have a different plan than I do.

 

A friend recently quoted Romans 8:28 to me, a familiar verse:

And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose. - Rom. 8:28

Yet another verse that has often come to mind these last few weeks, but one that is seemly hard to digest at this point. Good? God how can this be good? I finished what looked like this chapter of deputation, fairly smoothly, everything seemed to be going according to (my) plan, and yet, I’m here. Waiting. How is this good? 

Webster’s 1828 dictionary-

Good, a. 

1. complete or sufficiently perfect in its kind;
2. Having qualities best design to its design and use;
3. Proper, fit, convenient, seasonable. 

Well I suppose it depends on who is doing the defining. Am I overly set on defining my life and my path that I have decided what I’m going through is not good? Is it enjoyable? No. Do I like it? Absolutely not. But God has said that it is good. I follow God, not because it is the easy or enjoyable thing to do, but because I love Him and He knows best. Do I believe that or do I just know it? 

Proverbs 3:5-6

Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths. 

Well, God, I’m trusting and acknowledging you, so I believe you shall direct my paths. I don’t understand, yet will I trust you. I am actively choosing to trust you, therefore you WILL direct my steps. 

Be careful for nothing; but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God. And the peace of God shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. -Phil. 4:6-7

As I move to trust God, as I chose not to let my mind meditate on what is going wrong, I can feel the Lords peace infiltrating my very being. I have had moments of unrest and stress, but I have chosen to give God this thing I cannot control. And why is it that the hardest things to trust God with are the things we could not control anyway? There is absolutely nothing I can do about this situation at all! And yet I am so tempted to worry myself away over it. Choosing to worry is the rejecting of peace. You can only have one or the other and it is your choice. This is a lesson I have spent my entire life trying to learn and I’ll tell you what, I still have not learned it in its entirety. Worry, stress, and anxiety still have overcome me at times, but at its core, I know that when I am ready, God has plenty of peace waiting for me if I will chose to seek it. 

So many of you have take the time to write me, either a text, email or letter of encouragement. I just want to say thank you so much! It has been such a tremendous blessing to me to know that so many are praying for and with me as I wait for my visa to be approved. I know that God is in control and appreciate all of your continued prayers!

Beca (+Ray)